The more you explain, the less they buy.
Because you’re answering questions your prospects didn’t ask, and not asking questions that convert.
Typical scenario:
An IT expert gets on a call with a prospective client.
He’s prepared, thoughtful, and knows his work inside and out.
He explains:
The system
The process
The architecture
The logic behind it
From his viewpoint, he’s being helpful.
From the client’s? Overwhelmed.
Rather than object or push back, the prospect just… disappears.
The Hidden Layer in Every Conversation
The expert, usually a #8, is speaking with the client, in this case a #2–#4 combination.
In my AlikeAbility™ System, the numbers come from research on the number of touchpoints people typically need before making a decision.
Each number represents a different communication style.
Most people are a blend but tend to favor one for socializing and another for decision-making.
Every buyer has a preferred way of:
Processing information
Building trust
Prioritizing
When you match that style, conversations flow.
When you don’t… they stall.
The Four AlikeAbility™ Communication Styles
#2 — Action-Oriented
Fast. Decisive. Outcome-focused.
They value: progress, efficiency, results.
They struggle with: too much explanation.
👉 If you slow them down, you lose them.
#4 — Relationship-Oriented
Connection before conclusion.
They value: trust, rapport, and being understood.
They struggle with: abrupt, transactional conversations.
👉 If you skip connection, you lose them.
#6 — Security-Oriented
Careful. Risk-aware. Needs stability.
They value: predictability, reassurance, clarity.
They struggle with: pressure and uncertainty.
👉 If they feel rushed, you lose them.
#8 — Analytical / Evidence-Based
Thinks before acting.
They value: logic, detail, understanding.
They struggle with vague or rushed communication.
👉 If you don’t explain it, you lose them.
Question: Which one are you most of the time?
Where Conversations Break Down
Since most experts communicate in their own style, they project theirs onto the prospect.
As a result:
#2 pushes → #6 pulls back
#4 connects → #2 gets impatient
#8 explains → #2 disengages
#2 moves fast → #8 hesitates
Everyone unintentionally pressures #6
And then we say:
“Not a fit.”
When the truth is:
You never actually met them where they were.
C2C Tweak: Flex Your Style
The goal is not to change who you are.
It’s to become flexible with your language.
Use words that reflect the style of the prospect.
Before you respond, ask:
👉 Who am I speaking to?
👉 Do they need more speed, connection, reassurance, or detail?
Then adjust—just enough.
That’s what creates movement.
C2C Swipe: Shift in Real Time
Same message. Different delivery.
To a #2:
“Let me simplify—here’s what I recommend and the next step.”
To a #4:
“I’d love to understand what matters most to you first.”
To a #6:
“Here’s what you can expect, step by step.”
To a #8:
“Would it help if I walked you through how this works and why?”
⏩ You’re not changing what you say.
⏩ You’re changing how it lands.
Relationship-Building Framework: Match → Meet → Move
Use this to guide every conversation:
1. Match
Listen for their style.
2. Meet
Adjust your tone, pace, and depth.
3. Move
Then guide the next step:
Ask a relevant question
Offer an insight
Suggest a direction
Most people try to move too soon.
That’s why conversations stall.
Why This Matters in Networking
Most networking conversations sound like this:
“Great to connect.”
“What do you do?”
“Tell me more.”
Neutral. Safe. Ineffective.
When you understand styles, you stop being generic.
You start being relevant to the person in front of you.
And that’s when conversations turn into clients.
If you want to go deeper into how to apply this directly to growing a business—
how to start conversations, build relationships, and move them forward without being pushy—
👉 How Buyers Buy walks you through it step by step.
It’s an 8-module video course designed for experts who want conversations that actually lead somewhere. Comment BUY, and I’ll provide the link.
Because success on LinkedIn isn’t about visibility.
It’s about connections that convert.
To your business success,
Nancy Zare, Ph.D.
Helping Experts Become Confident Business Owners
